Judge Smails attacks Danny Noonan with a golf club, denies him the opportunity to loofa any stretch marks, bends time to make a reference to The Shining, and almost brains the Havercamps with a tea tray.

Judge Smails comes home to find Lacey Underall and Danny Noonan on his four-poster bed, and Mike, Dan, and Tom complaining about his house.

Al Czervik’s nautical mayhem concludes with an anchor through Judge Smails’s sloop, and Lacey Underall fulfills the promise of a rated R movie. But at what price??

Al Czervik drives past Judge Smails’s Flying Wasp and every other conceivable watercraft before sideswiping a floating party. Plus, Mike gets horrible advice from an adult and we all get Centerfold stuck in our heads.

Mrs. Smails breaks the Flying Wasp, Lacey Underall traces Danny Noonan’s saliva line, Al Czervik relieves Swanson of duty, and Mike’s dad never buys a boat in a very familiar-sounding episode.

Lacey Underall licks Danny Noonan’s hand instead of getting high, Spaulding gets his foot off Judge Smails’s sloop, and your hosts are bombarded with poems.

Mrs. Smails invites everyone to shake their booties down by the dock, Judge Smails makes a blessed return, and Danny Noonan tells Chuck Schick that he’s attending Saint Copious of Northern something.

Hug your loved ones close because we’re finally at the yacht club, where Danny Noonan appears as Dick Cavett to a table of stoners, Dr. Beeper electrocutes himself, and Mrs. Smails announces that it’s time to christen the sloop. Bonus: Mike uses science on a Baby Ruth.

Ty Webb pokes Lacey Underall in the back with his finger and slips off her, and we hear the origin story of Mike’s and Dan’s romcom-ready friendship.

Ty Webb and Lacey Underall fail to drink tequila, skinny dip with clothes on, and get greasy in bed, but all is not lost because Mike has a story about Dan being a jerk.